You Should Not Do This If You’re In Your 30s

Whenever you pass into a new decade, it feels like a bit of a graduation from some behaviors of the past. In your 20s, you were doing a heck of a lot of dumb interesting things that you simply cannot get away with anymore. Or at least not if you want to be taken seriously as a 30-something man. Here are some of the items you want to add to your “been there done that” list.

1. Party Like In Your 20s

When You Are 30 Do Not Party Like At 20
While your mind still tells you to go to a rave, your body is getting older. Sure, you can still party like a rockstar but it takes an extra day (or two) to bounce back again. Missing that 20s elasticity, bud? Yep, us too.

2. Careless Driving

Driving Reckless in Your 30s
Gone are the days when you got up the ass of the car ahead of you because it cut you off a minute earlier. If you’re still driving like a wild stallion, you’re best to stop once you reach the big 3-0. Be a stallion in bed instead.

3. Sleep On A Futon

Futon and Men in Their 30s
Here’s what we mean: you shouldn’t be living like you’re in a dorm room anymore. Get yourself a real f*ckin’ bed and man up to your current age. Your days of using patio chairs as your TV seating are long gone too (we hope).

4. The Paycheck-To-Paycheck Cycle

Man in 30s Still Living Paycheck to Paycheck
Stop the madness! Get out of the paycheck-to-paycheck cycle now that you’re in your 30s.
You don’t have to be filthy rich, but it’s a good idea by the time you’re this age to have some Benjamins saved up for a rainy day or two.

5. Living On Big Macs

Big Macs and Man in His 30s
Are you still downing Big Macs several times a week? Time to slow it down now that your metabolism has taken a nap. If you keep up the fascination with fast food dining, then you’re going to wind up gaining weight and feeling less than the 100% awesome stud that you are. Now who wants that?

6. Creeping Your Ex on Facebook

Creep Facebook Man in 30s
C’mon now. Just let her go, dude. You won’t gain any happiness by seeing her in pics with another guy or her latest status update that says “I’m so in love” with a heart emoji after it. So you broke up. It happens. Move on.

7. The McJob

Man in Dead End Job at Age 30
If your job, the one you do right now, is not one you’re proud to tell people about, then it’s probably not your dream job. Duh, you say. OK, now repeat after me: “I’m going to get out of this dead-end job and into a satisfying career.” Sweet. Do it, bro.

8. Wear the Shoes You Got 10 Years Ago

Men in 30s and Shoes
You ought to be dressing more like the grown ass man that you are in your 30s. When you walk into a room, your physique isn’t the first thing people notice. It’s your shoes, so clean up your footwear and don’t wear them to death. Toss the pair you got when you were 20 or we’ll do it for you.

9. Hitting Up The Bank Of Mom & Dad

Man Begs Mom and Dad for Money
If you’re still going to mom and dad for money, it’s probably time to STOP IT! Instead, get more independent, starting with trading in that McJob (see #7).

10. Sneak a Cig

Smoking in Your 30s

What about those times when you would sneak a smoke at a party? Well, we hope you’ve outgrown that phase by the time you reach 3-0. Cigarettes will clog your arteries and do all kinds of sh*t to your body. You’re better than that, bro.

OK, so you’re in your 30s now and… WTF, you still don’t know what the hell is going on around you. What’s this 401(k) sh*t everyone is on about, anyway? The truth is that if you haven’t grown up by the time you’re 30 then you’re not compelled to do so, well, maybe until the 40s. We’ll check back with you then. In the meantime, throw out that futon and put both hands on the steering wheel. Got it?