Why Fifty Shades of Grey is Lamer than James Franco

Why Fifty Shades of Grey is Lamer than James Franco

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50 Shades of Grey Mug

And then there was the slow death of the book and film industry with the outbreak of a virus called Fifty Shades of Grey. X-rated? Nope, more like overrated.

It hasn’t been easy for us to come to terms with the fact that so many hotties are steaming up over that friggin’ Christian Grey. Feel free to send your condolences and money. But, hey, then we found this delightful mug. The words on this mug are ones we are happy to proclaim: “Fifty Shades of I Don’t Give a Shit.”

Who says that men aren’t in touch with our emotions? We certainly are, and we compare the Fifty Shades book to James Franco a big pile of steaming dung. See? We are happy to say how we feel when it comes to this topic! Honesty is an attractive quality, ladies, and I have it in spades.

The Fifty Shades ceramic mug has the capital words on both sides of it so that everyone is sure to get the caring message, loud and clear. No mixed messages here. It’s dishwasher and microwave safe too, so even if it gets wet and steamy, the mug and my hard-on lasts through it.

We endorse the raunchy but did you ever actually read any of the Fifty Shades of Grey book? I did (shudders at the memory) and, guess what, it didn’t even get to the sexy bits until Chapter 8. I mean… What the… Why even bother with plotlines? Obviously a man did not write this book. It’s like saying we read Playboy Magazine for the articles. I’d rather see it rewritten by a manly man like good ol’ Vladimir Putin.

We, hereby, rename the book (and related movie) as Fifty Shades of Cray. And we fully endorse this mug. Fill it with coffee as you head to your man cave for a hardcore round of gaming and, remember, you don’t have to give a rat’s ass about Christian Grey. He’s got nothing on you. See? I can be nice.