Hillary is Such a Nutcracker, Literally

Some things make you want to gag. Other things are gags. OK, this item might actually be a bit of both. Sure, you see Hillary all over the TV news and political blogs, but do you know her like this?

She’s more than the just one who wears the pants in the Clinton household (sorry Bill, it had to be said). Now she’s a nutcracker, literally.

Simply hold this resin Hillary Clinton nutcracker in your hands, put the nut in the shell between her stainless steel upper legs and squeeze. The “ouch” sensation is one we’re feeling too! Yes, we’re kind of in awe too that you can actually buy this creepy item!

Mind you, it is practical when you want a nutty snack (you were warned in the Beerd bear cozy chat about our penchant for puns) as you lounge out on the sofa in your crib.

The Hillary Clinton nutcracker is sure to get your buddies talking – and laughing – when you show them it at your next guy’s night at your man cave. It’s also a great gag gift for a buddy’s place that you can give him on a birthday if he’s not-so-much a supporter (though we can’t imagine why… not!).

The American politician nutcracker is only 9 inches tall in this form, and she doesn’t talk so you won’t have to worry about her ball busting words. What’s incredible to us though is how lightweight the nutcracker is to hold; given all of Hillary’s baggage from her scandals that’s pretty unreal.

Anyway, it’s nice to have Hillary Clinton shown as the nutcracker we know her to be. Put her to good use here taking the shells off the snack food rather going in for our nuts like she does when she speaks out in public.

Spread those legs, Hillary. We won’t tell Bill, although he’s spread more than a few legs in his time, hasn’t he?