Breakup Gift under $10
What is happening?! OK, you’ll be the bigger person… in a few months. If you can’t accept that she’s breaking up with you, use one of these Fiverr Jealousy Related Services that are as low as $5.
Check out the options sure to have her eyes bugging out and her mind spinning, from hiring a hot girl to send you flirty texts or having her write lovey-dovey messages on your Facebook wall for your ex to see as she stalks your profile.
Or, give your former flame a taste of her own breakup medicine by sending her this clever “It’s not you it’s… Um no wait, it is you” girlfriend card. Your ex may not appreciate the cleverness of the card, but we’re betting that you will enjoy it enough for both of you.
Breakup Gift under $25
Get your ex-girlfriend a decent bottle of wine now that she’s finally old enough to legally drink. If she prefers red, get her that type rather than white. On the surface, she’ll appreciate that you got her a tasteful going-away-forever present but in reality, you’re telling her that she’ll need to drink away the tears when she realizes that she let a good catch like you go!
But, if she’s not legal yet, you won’t be choosing that option. Instead, spring for an HD movie that you know she hates like Dumb and Dumber. Attach a note that says the famous movie line “This is the annoying sound in the world” and follow it with two magic words: “Your voice.” Add a happy face, just for kicks.
Breakup Gift under $50
Another gift idea for your former girlfriend? Headphones! They’re such a nice present because they’re useful for everyone, and they’re always getting left behind somewhere.
But here’s the kicker – give her the worst pair of ear buds you can find as a passive-aggressive stance that hurts her deeply. You’re okay with that. Here are the Apple EarPods that we’re talking about. Your ears suck, honey. Hey, horrible sound quality came in handy for once.