Let’s be real here. When you have a friend with benefits (FWB), she’s more of an acquaintance than a friend. Get the booty benefits you really want (aka meaningless sex whenever you both are horny) without starting a serious relationship. Keep it from getting all kinds of awkward by following these 8 tips to successfully having friends with benefits.
1. Choose Carefully
You have to be selective, guys. If you pick a girl who is crushing on you, then you’re probably going to wind up hurting her because she wants a long-term relationship (and potentially get your tires slashed in the process).
Don’t ask co-workers to be FWBs either because rumors could get around the workplace that ruin your reputation. Instead, pick a woman who is open with her sexuality; she is more likely to be physical without any romantic feelings entering the picture.
2. Agree to the Terms
Set out the terms with her. There are two main things here to be clear on: (1.) It’s casual sex, and (2.) Exclusivity (yay or nay). You don’t need to say this is a hurtful way but do be clear with her about your intentions for physical-only, fun meetups in the bedroom (and on the couch, and on the kitchen table).
3. Say No to Dates
You’re not dating her when you’re friends with benefits. Don’t go out for dinner or send texts that say “thinking of you” and “good morning.” Meet her at your pad or hang at her place and order a pizza. Avoid sleepovers whenever possible too as they encourage feelings (shudder).
4. Wear Condoms
You two aren’t going to be another Knocked Up in the making (although that was a great romantic comedy, we prefer to keep it fictional). Getting her pregnant would complicate things instantly. Why risk it? Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.
5. Communicate What You Like
The whole point of friends with benefits is that you’re both having fun. If she’s doing stuff in the sack that’s not turning you on, or she only cares about her own needs, then you need to tell her that. Here is your opportunity to be open and honest about what you like; you’ll find yourself being pleasured mentally and physically if you get #5 right.
6. Remember It’s Short Term
This is casual sex. Yes, it’s fun and it certainly is temporary. So, expect that one day she may tell you that she’s met someone and wants to end the friends with benefits stuff.
Well, it was fun while it lasted. And, who knows, there’s hope that a new FWB will enter your life again soon
or that you meet the perfect gal.
7. Let Them Judge
Who cares if your family and friends don’t understand your FWB situation. You like it, have fun, and get physically stimulated as hell. So don’t let them tell you that you should be in a serious relationship instead. You know who you are better than anybody else.
8. Break It Off If She Develops Feelings
It’s a bummer if your FWB develops feelings for you that you don’t reciprocate. But don’t lead her on, even though it’s tempting when the sex is so great. Instead, break it off to avoid hurting her even more. Remember, if your friends with benefits connection is going to work then you both have to be totally honest with one another.
Now, what are you waiting for? We’ve told you how to make friends with benefits work, from ignoring skeptical friends to realizing it’s short term and making it clear what kind of sex you want to try with her. It’s about time you had some crazy fun, and it’s an FWB that can make that happen for you. Be safe, be sexy!