7 Creepy Things You Didn’t Know You Can Actually Buy

And then the world got a bit weirder than you already thought it was. Here are 7 of the creepiest finds on Amazon, all for the amazingly low price of under $30. Mail them to your friends or terrorize your younger brother. Whatever you do, you won’t be able to unsee these strange things.

1. Just How Creepy CAN it Get?

Creepy Can on Amazon
Nothing quite says “home” in your man cave like serving up a plate of canned charred Amazon, right from the can. Whether you’re a Game of Thrones fan or not, we bet you’re wondering (like us) who got their weird on to the extent they patented this can? On the plus side, it reinforces you at the top of the food chain, above dragons, who already ate the unicorns.

2. A Different Kind of Stoned

Creepy Amazon Pet Rock
So I walk into a bar and say, hey, what up, I got me a pet rock. Hmmm. Because every techie wants a Amazon ? Right, uh huh… Welcome to the world of getting stoned in one of the creepiest ways, a la Amazon. Well, on the bright side, if you tell it to sit it will, and you don’t have to pick up its sh*t around the house the way you do with that dumbass dog of yours.

3. Self Stirring is So Last Week

Automatic Stirring Mug Creepy

Stirring a mug with your hand? That is so last week. This stainless coffee mug stirs itself! That’s right welcome to automatic Amazon . Simply press the button on the handle and whir-r-r your way to a coffee-filled delight. Now you can save that spoon for that trouble you will stir up later on in the bedroom (see what we did there?).

4. Crickets May Just Take Over the World

Buy Crickets Creepy
If you always wanted to receive Amazon in the mail, you’re in luck! Note: If you want to get small crickets, you’re out of luck because these suckers are 1″ in size. Mind you, the bigger ones will taste better, right? They’re almost as big as the super ants that invaded our man cave after we forgot to take out the trash for a few weeks months.

5. This Big Dill Won’t Go Between Two Buns

Pickle Gadget Creepiest
Oh pickle, you always know just want to say. Except this time. Without further ado, I introduce you to the Amazon. I kid you not – this gadget actually exists. Now you see why this one makes our list of the creepiest finds on Amazon. I mean, we all like our pickle to be tickled but who knew one could yodel?! Great gag gift? We agree.

6. Because I Like Toilet Humor

Salt and Pepper Shakers Creepy
There’s nothing quite as appetizing as Amazon. Who’s with me on that? It’s great for your pal’s crib or just in case you need a bit of fun with your seasoning. There’s nothing more boring than a meal where you don’t think about taking another sh*t after it. Am I right or am I right?

7. Shocking Idea. Need We Say More?

Shock Your Friends Game
This creepazoid gadget certainly has shock value. The Amazon shocks its participants once they grab onto it. It’s a p-a-a-a-r-t-y “game” perfect for when your buds are drinking too much of your hooch, or you just feel like zapping them for the heck of it. Nothing wrong with a little payback, as we like to say.