August | 2015 | Man Cave Master | Page 2

Monthly Archives: August 2015

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you have to drive these cars before you die

We kinda came to terms with the fact we’re all going to die someday in our post about 8 Things You Should Know By Your 40s, but now we have that ol’ bucket list to figure out. You know, the list of stuff you want to do before you expire like old hamburger meat. You’ll have to drive these 7 cars before you die or miss out on some kick-ass spinning, sensational horsepower, and serious bragging rights.

1.AC Cobra

Drive the AC Cobra Before You Die
You don’t get called the “widow maker” for no reason. The AC Cobra is also known as the Ford Shelby Cobra in the US, and it’s been made since 1962. We think you’ll agree that this sportscar gives your girlfriend a run for the money as being the hottest piece of tail in your life after you take it for a test drive.

2.Corvette Stingray

Drive the Corvette Stingray
It would totally sting not to drive this car at least once before you die. Back in 1968 Chevrolet made the decision to introduce the Corvette Stingray in place of the MKII. You can believe every gearhead was (and still is) impressed by its ZL1 engine capable of 560 horsepower and its ability to take a quarter mile in 10.89 seconds. Guitar Hero’s got nothing on this.

3.Ariel Atom

Ariel Atom is Sporty to Drive
The car nut in you is itching to drive the 2015 Ariel Atom 3. I mean, why wouldn’t you? It’s 900 pounds lighter than the Mazda Miata and has twice the power. Intrigued yet?

This bitchin’ car is designed for race car-like performance, has a wicked 245-hp 2.0L V8 engine, a sporty open cabin, and is totally street legal in the US. Way to be badass before you croak.

4.Porsche 911 Carrera RS

Sweet Porsche to Drive Before You Die
Embrace the gearhead in you. C’mon, you know you wanna. The 1973 Porsche 911 Carrera RS boasts a 2.7L engine, 210 hp, and impressive German engineering. The model made in 1974 had 230 horsepower, but its chassis was altered. Choose one or drive both, you stud you.

5.Ferrari 458 Italia

Before You Die, Drive the Ferrari 458 Italia

Not many cars can rival the Ferrari 458 Italia’s sleek style and extreme speed. The 2015 version has a 4.5L rear-mounted V8. Just thinking about driving this baby on a deserted road in the sunshine has us choking back tears. Special note: If you’re going at supersonic speed and not watching where you’re going, you could actually die while driving this car. Then again, that would be great material for your obit.

6.Aston Martin DB5

James Bond Drove the Aston Martin DB5

James Bond was always trying to be you, wasn’t he? Now you can take his persona for a while by driving the Aston Martin before you perish in a storm of greatness. In particular, pick the DB5 model – trust us, you won’t be sorry. It’s the iconic car that got destroyed in Skyfall (check it out on YouTube if you’re a wanker who hasn’t seen the movie yet). *Cough* loser *cough*.

7.1964 Ford Mustang

Before You Die, Drive the 1964 Mustang

Go for a classic as that’s what you’ll be once you’ve been killed by lightning (or whatever way you go). Talk about one of the best muscle cars ever. Since it began, the Ford Mustang has undergone four variations on its body style and several different engines. The 1964 first-generation model is a beauty, ain’t she? No wonder it was an instant sensation. That’s just what you’ll be too as you drive it.

So you’re tired of driving your beat-up pickup that never has any get up to it? Then you’re likely up (yup) for taking any or all of these 7 cars out for a spin. Whether you want to go old-school with the 1964 Mustang or crave a brand new Ferrari 458 Italia instead, go on, you deserve to drive it at least once. Besides, now that you’ve read this post you’re probably going to bitch nonstop about not having driven them all yet. At least if we throw you behind the wheel, it might shut you up for a few minutes. No offense, bro.

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Tips for Picking Up Chicks

Why does it seem so difficult to pick up a chick? It’s like they’re taunting us with their sexy tight jeans and low-cut shirts. We just want to ask them out, but something always seems to go astray. Help is on the way! Here are 5 pickup rules for men that will totally transform your game. You won’t even need a wingman.

1.Be Open for a Pick Up Anywhere

Pick Her Up at the Store
Pickups don’t just have to happen at the bar or on You can pick gals up in the most random of places, and there are some sexy finds. From the grocery store lineup to the mall, there are hot girls everywhere. Sure, it can be nerve-racking to walk up to them but just be yourself. Ladies are way more flattered being hit on in these situations than in more conventional places like the nightclub because they don’t expect it.

2.Rejection Happens. Move On.

Pick Up Tip Is To Get Over Rejection

Accept that you will get rejected by at least one girl along the way. Don’t fear it. If you enter a pickup situation feeling scared that you might get rejected, you’ll hold back, and she might even sense your scaredy-cat ways. The result is totally unattractive, dude. Instead, smile, stand confidently, and avoid any movements similar to Pee Wee Herman.

3.Ignore Pick Up Artists

Don't Listen to Pick Up Artists

What’s up with the people who claim they are pick up artists and offer to give insider advice to men and women in exchange for money?

They act like there’s one method that you can use that will make all women sleep with you. Huh, that’s funny, from the little we know about the female gender we can already tell different chicks like diverse qualities in guys.

Don’t dole out money to these scammers. You might not have been laid in months, but you can still have your integrity. Just say no to these “artists.”

4.Read a Woman’s Body Language

Strong Female Body Language During Pick Up

You can tell if she is interested or not if you know how to read her body language. Is she fidgeting or tapping her fingers? These are common signs that the woman just isn’t interested. On the other hand, if she laughs, smiles, and looks at you a lot, take those gestures as positive ones. The gesture in the photo here appears to be a pleasant one (or two, to be more accurate).

5.Be The One Who Closes

Close the Pick Up With Her Phone Number
If she doesn’t suggest you take your conversation elsewhere or meet up again soon, then you need to close the deal. Of course, we’re assuming you two are hitting it off in public. NEVER leave without getting some way to contact her, whether that be her phone number or (less threatening) her email address. After all, you want to see her again, don’t you? You’re not just there for the good conversation without follow-up.

Even if you get put into the “Friend Zone,” it’s not always a bad thing. She might have a hot, single friend you can meet down the road, or there’s a better catch for you still out there somewhere. Look at it as a challenge. You win some, and you lose some in terms of rejection to your advances; it happens to even the best of us. The golden rules above will help your pickup maneuvers and, who knows, you might just fool her into believing you’re not a total douchebag, even if you are.

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Cultural References

Oh, pop culture, how we adore you. You’re what gets us talking now, but we didn’t have you a couple of decades ago. You’re a hell of a lot younger than us writers here (takes a moment to sob uncontrollably).

Read on for the 6 pop culture references we didn’t have 20 years ago in the English language. Will you be LOLing by the end of the post? Dang we’re bad at telling you about spoiler alerts beforehand (that happens when we drink in the middle of the day).


LOL Pop Culture Reference

Internet slang doesn’t get any more basic than LOL. It stands for Laugh Out Loud, of course, although this may be a lightbulb moment for you if you’ve lived under a rock for years now. Let us know if you want us to explain other important sh*t to you like why you need to know Harry Potter but not Harry Styles. Side note: Variations on LOL include LMFAO, LOLZ, and ROFL.


Get on the Wireless Trend in Culture
Type the word “wireless” into Google and you’ll come up with headphones, speakers, earbuds, and (almost) every other technology that we waste hours a day using.  It appears to be the wireless age, which is a hyper-extension on Wi-Fi in every form imaginable. Maybe the Mayans were wrong and the world didn’t end because we needed to stay alive to enjoy wireless tech. By the way, being a geek is now cool, rather than a reason to cower in the corner at parties, in case you missed that newsflash too.


Fun With Emojis
For some reason, the emoji brings us a lot of joy. We add it to text messages, Facebook posts, and anywhere else our smartphone lets us insert it with a click of a button. Why? Because nobody can see our facial expression is really super bored while we’re at home telling everyone on our iPhone that we’re living a highly-satisfied life with smiling faces with open mouths, kissing faces, and, for course, the cat face with tears of joy.


WTF on the Beach

Perhaps this is an extension of #3? Truthfully, when DON’T you want to say WTF these days? Imagine Chandler from Friends saying that line. There is so much to respond to these days with “What the F*ck”, from people who try to outrun trains to pretty much any photo you see on the People of Walmart website.


Cultural Reference to Catfish
With the rise of social media and chat room popularity, comes (of course) people pretending to be who they’re not. I mean, we did have disguises before the Internet, but we couldn’t very easily talk to someone in person or by phone and pretend to be a different gender. It’s so much easier through Facebook and other online platforms now to “catfish” someone or create false personas to deceive people. If you’re lucky enough to get hooked, you might win an empty bank account or receive pervy images.

6.Spirit Animal

Cultural Reference Spirit Animal
OK, I totally get that the spirit animal is part of pagan religion and used to show traits you supposedly have. But since when did a Mortal Kombat character or Ariana Grande become a spirit animal? People are taking this crap too far, and we’re sick of it. Okay, we’ll stop being such a downer. Pop culture is, er, interesting. Better?


Fail Family Moment at Beach

Another cultural reference you’ll come across during your five-star Golden Arches meal is the word “fail.” If you are told what you did is a “fail,” it means you suck, are lame, and a loser. Don’t take it personally as plenty of things fail, from people who can’t name every character in The Simpsons to that moment when someone mocks you and you can’t think of a comeback. You also might say “D’oh.”


Katy Perry OMG in Pop Culture

If you have been reading this list in order, or you have managed to be at least a tad social over the last two decades, then you will totally understand this sentence: “OMG, I don’t know WTF to do and I don’t have time for LOLZ.” In social media, and, sadly, in everyday conversations at the Golden Arches, you will come across OMG moments. OMG, you don’t know that OMG stands for “Oh My God?” WTF!


Hipster Subculture

Well hello to you, subculture called “hipster.” How have you been? Are you busy thinking how superior you are to me or wishing that you were more mysterious than I am? In both instances, I respond with one word: “fail.” You may rock those Urkel glasses, but the sad truth is that your parents still pay your rent.


Hashtag Out of Control

The hashtag is out of control! Excessive usage has officially arrived for the “#” sign that just used to be a button on your rotary telephone. Ah, the good old days. Sure, originally we used it to bring attention to keywords on Twitter or cool phrases. But now it’s part of #Facebook and #Instagram too. And people are making the hashtag gesture with their hands in real life conversations too. The horror!

Some of these cultural references are amazing, aren’t they? I mean, the word fail can size up an entire situation with just four letters. There’s nothing quite like condensing the English language and making up words. LOL. Now about that spirit animal thing, we are ready to rant some more. Don’t mind us.

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Tips for Friends With Benefits

Let’s be real here. When you have a friend with benefits (FWB), she’s more of an acquaintance than a friend. Get the booty benefits you really want (aka meaningless sex whenever you both are horny) without starting a serious relationship. Keep it from getting all kinds of awkward by following these 8 tips to successfully having friends with benefits.

1.Choose Carefully

Choosing Her as a Friend With Benefits
You have to be selective, guys. If you pick a girl who is crushing on you, then you’re probably going to wind up hurting her because she wants a long-term relationship (and potentially get your tires slashed in the process). Don’t ask co-workers to be FWBs either because rumors could get around the workplace that ruin your reputation. Instead, pick a woman who is open with her sexuality; she is more likely to be physical without any romantic feelings entering the picture.

2.Agree to the Terms

Guidelines for Friends With Benefits
Set out the terms with her. There are two main things here to be clear on: (1.) It’s casual sex, and (2.) Exclusivity (yay or nay). You don’t need to say this is a hurtful way but do be clear with her about your intentions for physical-only, fun meetups in the bedroom (and on the couch, and on the kitchen table).

3.Say No to Dates

No Dating Friends With Benefits
You’re not dating her when you’re friends with benefits. Don’t go out for dinner or send texts that say “thinking of you” and “good morning.” Meet her at your pad or hang at her place and order a pizza. Avoid sleepovers whenever possible too as they encourage feelings (shudder).

4.Wear Condoms

Be Safe in Bed with FWB
You two aren’t going to be another Knocked Up in the making (although that was a great romantic comedy, we prefer to keep it fictional). Getting her pregnant would complicate things instantly. Why risk it? Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool.

5.Communicate What You Like

Be Truthful About Sex with FWB
The whole point of friends with benefits is that you’re both having fun. If she’s doing stuff in the sack that’s not turning you on, or she only cares about her own needs, then you need to tell her that. Here is your opportunity to be open and honest about what you like; you’ll find yourself being pleasured mentally and physically if you get #5 right.

6.Remember It’s Short Term

Short Term Sex
This is casual sex. Yes, it’s fun and it certainly is temporary. So, expect that one day she may tell you that she’s met someone and wants to end the friends with benefits stuff. Well, it was fun while it lasted. And, who knows, there’s hope that a new FWB will enter your life again soon or that you meet the perfect gal.

7.Let Them Judge

Friends Judge
Who cares if your family and friends don’t understand your FWB situation. You like it, have fun, and get physically stimulated as hell. So don’t let them tell you that you should be in a serious relationship instead. You know who you are better than anybody else.

8.Break It Off If She Develops Feelings

Alone After FWB Ends
It’s a bummer if your FWB develops feelings for you that you don’t reciprocate. But don’t lead her on, even though it’s tempting when the sex is so great. Instead, break it off to avoid hurting her even more. Remember, if your friends with benefits connection is going to work then you both have to be totally honest with one another.

Now, what are you waiting for? We’ve told you how to make friends with benefits work, from ignoring skeptical friends to realizing it’s short term and making it clear what kind of sex you want to try with her. It’s about time you had some crazy fun, and it’s an FWB that can make that happen for you. Be safe, be sexy!

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NBA Players Rich Beyond Wildest Dreams

Sometimes I wonder if the guys that get into the NBA came out of the womb dribbling more than saliva? Maybe they were already practicing their dribbling skills on the basketball court. That scenario could help explain how they get to the big leagues and snag the kind of salaries that we all want to make. Well, I guess we can live vicariously through them for now until we make our own millions. Check out these 8 NBA players that are rich beyond even your wildest of dreams.

1.LeBron James – $65 Million In 2015

NBA Money for LeBron James

Including LeBron James as one of the richest NBA players was a no-brainer (which is good as my head still hurts from that hangover yesterday). At age 30, he makes a cool $65 mill this year alone, with $44 mill of that from endorsements. Booyah!

2.Kobe Bryant – $49.5 Million

Kobe Bryant is Making Millions

Another huge earner for the 2015/2016 NBA player salaries is Kobe Bryant. The Lakers are paying him a massive salary of $23.5 million, and he picks up an additional $26 mill this year for endorsements. What is surprising ballbusting is that he took a pay cut on his Laker’s salary when he got a contract extension back in 2013. Yes, you read that right. A pay CUT. Seriously?!

3.Joe Johnson – $24.9 Million

Wealthy NBA Star Joe Johnson

This Johnson is doing a hell of a lot better than sprinter Ben Johnson fared in sports. He’s taking the payroll department at Brooklyn Nets for all they’ve got. The 2015/2016 season shows close to $25 million. Hey ladies, he’s single, so we’re wondering if you want to take him as your sugar daddy and give us a cut for setting you two up?

4.Carmelo Anthony – $30.5 Million

Wealthy in the NBA is Carmelo Anthony
He’s a star in the eyes of the Knicks, that’s for sure. Welcome to the world of unbelievably wealthy, starring Carmelo Anthony. His salary is $22.5 million for this season, with an additional $8 mill in endorsements. That’s half a mill below what actress Jennifer Aniston takes home annually, but I’m pretty sure Anthony isn’t crying about it.

5.Kevin Durant – $54 Million

Rich NBA Player Kevin Durant
Thanks to a slam-dunk deal with Nike, Kevin Durant has shot up in the list of top NBA player salaries for the 2015/2016 season. He earns $54 million, which includes his 10-year deal with the sports powerhouse that is reportedly worth upwards of $300 million. Did you know he gets royalties on top too? Is that chump change? Nope.

6.Dwight Howard – $28.9 Million

Money Maker Dwight Howard

Sadly we debated whether to add the “.4” to the title of #6. Then we realized (slaps forehead) that it works out to $400,000, which is more money than we make in a year. So, yes, the 4 stays. As for Dwight Howard, he’ll likely stay with the Houston Rockets as long as he can keep that salary. And who can blame him?

7.Chris Bosh – $23.8 Million

Chris Bosh Money NBA PlayerSay hello to the top NBA player for the Miami Heat. We’d like to tell you it’s heating up for 31-year-old Chris Bosh, but we’re too busy worrying about how we’re going to save money on heating when the colder months come our way. Yup, we’re on a budget and Bosh knows nothing about having to scrimp for money this year.

8.Derrick Rose – $38.9 Million

Endorsement Money for NBA Player Rose

You’ll come out smelling like a rose in the area of cha-ching if you’re Derrick Rose. It’s not bull that this Chicago Bulls player will bring in a massive $18.9 million in salary this year, with additional bucks from endorsement deals with Powerade and other big spenders.

Now that’s what we call rich ballers. You’re sitting pretty cushy on stacks of bills if you’re Carmelo Anthony, Kobe Bryant, or any of the other 8 rich NBA players we list here. We’d gladly take just a chunk of those earnings (the bigger half, in case you wondered). Or we could always try our hand at growing to be 6’11” and excelling on the court to earn a great NBA contract. How about whichever one comes first?

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Wild Orchid is Sexier Than Porn

Is it just us or did it suddenly get warmer in here? You’ll understand what we mean once you finish this list of the 10 movie sex scenes that are hotter than a porno. Gotta love when dirty stuff gets put into movies (and when we make a top ten list about it).

1.When Julianne Moore F*cks Mark Wahlberg In Boogie Nights

Julianne Moore Sex Scene Porno Like

Apparently redheads have more fun than blondes, at least for porn pro Julianne Moore in the scene where she gets raunchy with Mark Wahlberg. Erotic? Yup. Sexy movie scenes like this one from 1997 are classic turn-ons.

2.Antonio Banderas & Angelina Jolie In Original Sin

Sexier Movie Scene Than a Porno
There is sin already. Angelina Jolie is hot anyway so just put her in bed, and we’ve got a hard on. Add in Banderas putting himself in her the way you daydream yourself doing, amazing lighting, and full-body shots for a movie scene that is way steamier than a porno.

3.Girl On Girl Action in Blue Is The Warmest Color

Movie Girl on Girl Sexy
When two women experiment together in a sex scene that clocks in at about seven minutes in length, it’s time to take note. In the 2013 flick, there are viewers who might say the scene is pure porn. But it’s in a mainstream movie, so it still makes the cut in our top 10 list here. You can thank us later.

4.Tom Cruise Watching In Eyes Wide Shut

Tom Cruise in Wide Eyes Shut a Porno?

The three-minute scene in this 1999 movie when Tom Cruise walks around a mansion watching people screw one another and watching people observing them is the definition of kinky. Now where can we find a house like that?

5.Kim Basinger, Mickey Rourke & An Ice Cube in Nine 1/2 Weeks

Ice Cube Movie Scene Hotter Than Porn
Bet you can’t wait nine 1/2 minutes to explode as you watch this scene. It’s a creative role for the ice cube; that’s all we’ll say (why ruin the sexiness to cum for you soon?). Also, watch the scene on the steps in the rain; you will get wet right along with Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke.

6.Girl, Girl, Boy, in Wild Things

Threesome Sexy in Wild Things Movie Scene

Threesomes. Need we say more? Denise Richards, Neve Campbell, and Matt Dillon have a 3-way in Wild Things that is hotter than (we can’t even think of anything at the moment, totally dick-stracted). Also, lesbian time in the pool between Richards and Campbell is sexabulous.

7.Spanking Maggie Gyllenhaal Scene in Secretary

Spanking Her Sexier Than Porno
Time to let your freak flag fly with this scene in Secretary, a movie from 2002. The whole film centers on a love story with S&M, and that was way before 50 shades of Grey. James Spader dominates Maggie Gyllenhaal as a submissive employee, spanking her and putting her in dog collars; she loves it too.

8.Bedtime With Donald Sutherland & Julie Christie In Don’t Look Now

Hotter Than a Porno Sex Scene
It’s a little ironic that this scene from Don’t Look Now is one to watch over and over again. It’s one of the best bed scenes in a mainstream flick that we know of, and that might be because the rumor is that Sutherland and Christie got it on for real during filming. Watch him put his face between her legs; the chances are good that he’s enjoying the meal.

9.Shortbus – Many Sex Scenes

Shortbus Movie Sex Scene
Okay, so we couldn’t pick out a particular scene in the 2006 movie Shortbus because it’s really just a porno that has a storyline added to it. It’s a film about a sex therapist who can’t reach an orgasm with her hubby, which leads them into many adventures to get her off (including orgy time). Enjoy the multiple moments pounding your python as you watch the scenes.

10.Sex (Real?) Between Mickey Rourke & Carre Otis in Wild Orchid

Wild Orchid is Sexier Than Porn
Here is another movie with Rourke and another situation where the sex might have actually been real in the scene. Look hard at the bedroom scenes between the two actors (there are multiple scenes) while you get hard. Gotta love full frontal nudity, particularly if you’re not getting any in your own real life.

Porno worthy? Yes, the sex scenes above are absolutely hotter than a porno. From girl on girl action to spanking and 3-ways, there’s so much to see in this list. Now go do what you have to do; just make sure you clean up yourself afterward.

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Romantic Comedies Guys Love

Okay, okay, as much as guys hate to admit it, there are romantic comedies that are totally worth the two-hour viewing period. It helps if you have a gal snuggling up to you on the couch too while you’re watching it. Just for the love of God don’t call them “chick flicks.”

1.Knocked Up

Romantic Comedy for Men
True, it would be a major nightmare for any woman to get knocked up, but any man can appreciate the smart witt of the dialogue in this movie. You can always count on Paul Rudd and Seth Rogen for a laugh.

2.Pitch Perfect (1 & 2)

Pitch Perfect 1 & 2 Movies for Men
You’re totally off target if you think the two Pitch Perfect movies are just more Glee remakes. Nope, it’s got corny humor you won’t “Aca-Believe” that you “Aca-Saw” until you actually sit down and watch this one. Aca-tually, this rom-com isn’t really a secret one to love; lots of guys will tell you they think it’s hilarious.

3.Friends With Benefits

Rom-Com Movie Friends With Benefits
Maybe guys like this romantic comedy because it’s heavier on the sex scenes than on the plot. The scenes in the bedroom can also help you out if you want a few new moves to use on the ladies in bed. You can thank JT for the advice as you watch him work his charm in the film.

4.How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Men Secretly LIke This Movie Seriously
Maybe this is a movie guys adore because it shows there’s a crazier woman out there than the ones we already know! Plus, Kate Hudson is a hottie, especially when she’s not so clingy near the end of the flick.

5.A Lot Like Love

Men Secretly Love This Movie
For the hopeless romantic guy, A Lot Like Love is a must-watch film. It delves into the possibility of love at first sight. It’s also a reminder that even if you sing off key you can still win over a woman’s heart by belting out a love tune (watch the movie to get the full story).

6.Notting Hill

Notting Hill is a Movie Men Secretly Love
Here’s what guys secretly love about this romantic comedy: The leading man owns his own business that sells travel books. Replace travel books with comics or video games and you’ve got the guy’s dream gig. Not to mention that most men would be okay with spilling coffee on a woman and later having her fall madly head over heels for him. In short, it’s a dream life for a guy.

7.Say Anything…

Boombox in Romantic Comedy Say Anything
Classic! True, some people might call it a cliche romance but we like to call it a great version of “average guy gets amazingly hot girl.” Every guy can identify with Lloyd and totally roots for him to get the chick. If you’re looking for an alternative to chocolates as a present for her birthday, you could always lift a boombox over your head too.

These 7 romantic comedies won’t make you want to commit suicide for spending a couple of hours watching them. You also won’t feel like you got a female chromosome in the process. Go old-school with Say Anything… or take in a newer rom-com like Pitch Perfect. Whichever one you choose, you’ll secretly love it. Come on, you can tell us. Really.

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Sports Injuries Embarrassment

We’re talking the most cringe-worthy sports injuries ever. These are bizarre moments that the athletes involved would like us to forget. Too bad we’re not one of those believers in karma. Here are 7 embarrassing sports injuries you’ll never forget (we wouldn’t let that happen).

1.Sammy Sosa

Embarrassing Sammy Sosa
An injury from sneezing? Oh yes. Baseball player Sammy Sosa managed to sprain a lower back ligament and get on the disabled list for a month after two violent sneezes in the clubhouse. The horror, the shame, and the snot of it all. It’s a much less glamorous moment than his race to beat Roger Maris’ home run record.

2.Plaxico Burress

Embarrassing Injury Plaxico Burress

It was just another night out at a New York nightclub for Burress. Well, it was until he shot himself in the leg accidently. That smooth move took the NFL superstar from the field to the prison cell. We can’t make this stuff up

3.Bill Gramatica

Ouch Sports Injury Bill Grammatica

A case of too much celebrating? More like celebrating without a sense of balance. Remember when the Cardinals kicker jumped up during a 2010 game against the Giants to celebrate a field goal? He didn’t land right and tore his ACL in the process. Number of kickoffs by Gramatica for the rest of the game? Zippo. Ouch.

4.Dustin Penner

Sports Injuries and Pancakes
Perhaps Penner just wanted to be the king of the pancakes. The LA Kings player took himself out of the lineup by sitting down incorrectly to eat a plate of homemade pancakes his wife had made him. You’d think that given his big salary he’d have learned how to sit properly.

5.Joel Zumaya

Joel Zumaya Athlete
Poor Zumaya. All the Detroit Tigers player wanted to do was play Guitar Hero on his PlayStation. Turns out he played a bit too much and had a sore wrist afterward. He backed out of the 2006 ACLS due to this injury. Hero status? Not so much.

6.Glenn Healy

Injured by Bagpipes Bizarre
Did you hear the one about the goalie who cleaned his bagpipes? That was backup goalie Glenn Healy of the New York Rangers. It appears he didn’t clean them right because he cut his hand and required 40 stitches. Was it more embarrassing the way he got this sports injury or that he plays the bagpipes?

7.Gus Frerotte

Reenactment of Gus Frerotte
This headbutt back in 1997 may have made him a butthead, actually. When quarterback Gus Frerotte headbutted the wall of the Kent Cooke Stadium after his touchdown, he suffered a sprained neck and got a concussion. Brutally bizarre.

These are undoubtedly 7 of the most embarrassing sports injuries ever.  We know about bad luck, but this is worse than the time you said you were going to get hammered and got hit with a real hammer. It’s hard to one up Sammy Sosa and the other athletes here, but we’re sure it can be done. We look forward to adding more names to this list soon.

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in your 40s

Gulp. Middle age. You know, that term you once thought was so far away. How did your 40s creep up on you so quickly? It’s a scary yet freeing feeling to be in this age bracket. Why? We’ll tell you, in more than 7 points and less than 9. Here are 8 things you should know by your 40s (or will start to learn after you read this post below).

1.You Know What You Like (and Dislike)

Know What You Like in Your 40s
Remember in your 30s when you said yes to every opportunity that came your way because you weren’t sure if you would like it or not? Well, now you know you don’t like hot yoga (that was awkward), and you do like dipping just about any food, from a slice of pizza to fried chicken. Now that you’re in your 40s, you pick and choose what to do, say no to the yucky stuff, and are doing what appeals to you.

2.Life Isn’t Over Yet…

The Possibilities of the 40s
When you were a kid, you thought that when someone turned 40 that their life was over. Now that you’ve reached that decade, you realize, hey, life isn’t even close to being over. You are still fit, charming and mentally with it (okay, most of the time…).

3….But You Will Die at Some Point

Realize in Your 40s Your Mortality
The only thing is, you turn 40 and realize you’re on the downward slope now in terms of the number of years left. You will die one day. While it’s a morbid thought, and we all have issues when it comes to mortality, you need to come to terms with it so that you make the most of your days left.

4.No More Hangovers

Stop the Hangovers Learned by 40s
Yup. You’re done with drinking terrible booze and staying out until 2 am. It’s lights out by 11 nowadays. There’s none of this nasty hangover business to content with anymore. Rumor has it that hangovers are worse in your 40s, but you don’t know and don’t care to find out.

5.Less Sex

Less Sex 40s
Ouch. But wait it’s not as bad as it sounds. Make the fewer times count more than they did in your 20s and 30s. It’s not the number of notches on the belt but the quality of the belt itself (or something like that, you get the analogy of quality over quantity). Once you come to terms with getting less, it’s not so bad who are we kidding, it still sucks.

6.More Sleep

Sleep Highly Valuable in the 40s
Maybe it’s a bit of a tradeoff for having less sex. Does more sleep make up for it? Do you recall getting 2 hours of sleep after a night of partying and going into work no problem? That gameplan would be tough for your tired body and mind in your 40s. Guess that’s why we’re saying no to late nights more and yes to extra snooze time instead.

7.Losing It (Your Vision, That Is)

Blind as a Bat 40s
The phrase “blind as a bat” is finally starting to make sense. You’re pretty sure your eyes started to slack off without getting the A-Okay from you. Heading out for dinner? Better bring along the reading glasses so you can actually read the menu this time.

8.Overnight Success Means This

No Overnight Success
By the time you reach your 40s, the term “overnight success” finally makes sense. Aha, it’s not really over the course of an evening but more like 6 or 10 years. The good stuff takes a bit of time to reveal itself. Be patient. You’ve had to learn to work smarter, and that’s taken many years to get that message loud and clear.

You feel more experienced and smarter in your 40s, don’t you? You know what you like, are coming to terms with your mortality, crave sleep over hangovers, and understand what it takes to be more successful. Now that you’re more comfortable in your own skin, we better not even bring up the fact that you could soon become a grandparent (shudder). Nah, we’ll just head back to bed for some more zzz’s and less sex instead.

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Shock Man Embarrassing Moments

Get ready for some uber embarrassing moments, either for someone in the photo or someone watching the event unfold. Maybe you’ll smile, the chances are that you will laugh, and, above all, it will be awkward. Heck, we have fun, you know that. Come join in. Here are 8 of the most embarrassing moments caught on camera.

1.Naked Distraction

Embarrassing Selfie

You’re looking awesome in the front with a party in the back; it’s kind of like the mullet without all of the coolness. What’s with the naked guy in the back? We’d love to get the full story but don’t need to see the full frontal.

2.A Little Too Close

The Fan is Too Close Embarrassing
These fans are reaching out for her adoration, love and… crotch?! Check out the one fan’s hand that got a little too close. Perhaps a crotch photo is fine now and then but we don’t think she okayed it beforehand.

3.Best Friends?

Awkward Moment
We’re thinking that they’re likely not BFFs. Can this guy look any less impressed with the person he’s stuck with beside him for the trip? On the other hand, at least the pillow will bring sweet dreams of pants in the future.

4.And Then That Happened

Cheerleader Oops
It makes you wonder what they see underneath those cheerleading skirts. We’re thinking the gal circled on the left is hungry, while the gal on the right is about to vomit her protein-packed lunch.

5.Get. Away. From. Me.

Embarrassing Couple
You’ve got to hand it to this guy. Just how bad is this guy’s game to get her to make that face? It’s not his finest moment. Maybe he needs a better wingman. An embarrassing moment, yes.

6.Bloody Hell!

Man Running Bloody Nipples
Ouch. Dude! That chafing is no fun, but it IS super embarrassing. When you have a marathon to run (personally we’d rather hang back at the NYC man cave), you might want to break out the nip protection.

7.Sometimes It’s A Long Ride

Woman Embarrassing Moment
You just never know if you might have to go to the bathroom during a long bus ride. Really, we understand (Sarcasm, much?). There’s nothing quite like that moment when you realize everyone behind you can see your diaper, and that other moment when you tell them you just sh*t your diaper. Well, at least she’s prepared.

8.Card Shark Alert

Funny Moment Computer
She is working; yes, really she is. No, really. It’s embarrassing to get caught not doing your job while on the clock, and we’re pretty sure she had no idea this photo was taken. On the other hand, she’s going to be in Vegas soon and rocking the tables with her card-playing moves. Care to bet on it?

These 8 photos were taken at the best or worst times, depending whether you’re in the pics or seeing them from afar instead. Thank you creepy diaper gal on the bus and the crotch-obsessed fan for brightening our morning. If you laughed as much as we did when we put together this post then we’re pretty sure your day is on the right track. We couldn’t say the same for the people in the photos, though.