Let us set the stage. There once was a blank album cover, and it needed an image. Everyone gathered around the conference table to come up with an ingenious art work. Then the art director got out the Bong. Here is what came next.
1.And Then The Puppet Came Out
Is the puppet creepier than the face of the chick on the right? It’s a tough one to decide, but we’ll let Little Marcy have the final say (or risk being stabbed in our sleep later).
2.Bee Gee, I’m Happy
Gee Willikers I’m just so doggone happy! Or he’s saying something like that. After this photo had been taken, the men all went back to Dick’s house for some sword fighting.
3.Puss N’ Topless
Whatever got her to take off her shirt and show her pussy cat? The answer: Who cares. As for the daddy line, creepy just came to town with him.
4.Our Condolences
Sorry to hear that Freddie. Good thing you put your tribute to your dead friends so poetically in this title.
5.Hand It To Her, Folks
Now that’s a talented lady. Sexy? No. At least not unless she uses those hands to help us come along. This is one of the creepiest retro album covers.
6.Blew Us Away
Apparently it’s Blow Fly’s world, and we just live in it. We’re going to medicate ourselves now.
7.When You Gotta Go…
We can’t tell you how many times we’ve been turned on by a chick sitting on a toilet on an album cover. That’s because it’s never happened.
8.Dirty Boy
This creepy retro album cover can be summed up in three words: It’s just wrong.
9.For The Love Of God
If chills run down your spine as you look at the concept of this vintage vinyl cover then … you have the same reaction as we did when we first saw this one!
10.No Huckleberry Finn Here
Given the look of defiance that the puppet is giving the ventriloquist, we hope it never comes to life to be a “real boy” like Pinocchio. It’s a different adventure than Huckleberry Finn encountered.
11.Clowning Around
This is the token clown cover that any freaky post has to include in it. Obligation fulfilled.
12.Going To The Dogs
Apparently gay dogs came out of the closet in the 1960s. The evidence for that statement is in one of the creepiest retro album covers ever, which we’ve included here for your viewing pleasure horror.
13.Havarti & Cheddar
Cheesy or creepy? You take your pick – it could maybe be both of those options?
14.Taming The Tiger
Want to meet up tonight? Sorry, I can’t, I’m just hanging out with the tiger rug and listening to tunes. Oh okay, I did that yesterday. ((Ah, the ’60s!))
15.Just Another Day Freaking Out Friends
Just what you always wanted to give your friends for Christmas. You’re welcome.
These are easily 15 of the creepiest retro album covers ever. Whatever compelled people to think that putting images of puppets and a four-armed lady onto the vinyl covers is beyond us. Maybe we’re just more into the likes of that Village People and Twisted Sister, but that’s just us. If you can’t sleep later, you’re not alone – these images are giving us worse nightmares than the time we saw Justin Bieber perform live. On the bright side, it’s time for another Jack & Coke.
