We want to go back to the times when orgies were not included in the same sentence as “tsk, tsk, tsk” and when maintenance for men was done so creatively. Here are 14 men’s grooming products that we really want back today. Can you blame us?
1.Soaking Up The Suds
Suds up your hair perfectly with the magical ingredient in this 1978 product: Beer! The Body on Tap shampoo contained a cup of beer. So if you got thirsty while you were in the shower… Well, who says men can’t multitask?
2.Manscaping Luxury
The craftsmanship, oh yes. It impresses the likes of Ron Burgundy. We think if these travel sets for holding your razors and more were still made today then we’d definitely buy one. This one is estimated to be from somewhere between the 1920s and 1940s, which is before our parents made us.
3.Buzzing About This One
So this was Burt’s Bees medicated lip balm with clove oil. It was a hell of a find that is now discontinued, and our lips are now a clusterf*ck nobody wants to kiss anymore. Jaded? Maybe.
4.Tooth Treat, Anyone?
Now that we don’t have Oral-B Brush-Ups anymore, we have to go back to taking the time with a real toothbrush. Curses. If we have bad breath on the go, then it’s on your head Oral-B.
5.Perv Antiperspirant
Because we can all use a little more perv in our lives today. Bring back the Tickle deodorant from the 1970s please.
6.A Tube Unlike Any Other
Shampoo in a tube. Sigh, those were the days. Let’s take a moment to mourn the loss of the 1970s Prell shampoo.
7.The Smell Transports You
Remember as a teen boy rubbing the thick Noxzema face cream onto your skin and hoping it would rid you of your pimply skin? The strong stench of it still makes us half-vomit, half-wish for the return of the old recipe. The jar shown here is a throwback to the 1940s.
8.Golly Gee Me
When the “Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific” hair product line hit the shelves, we all realized how bad our hair smelled before it. We really want yummy scented hair again.
9.Manly Zebra Cologne
We adored “By Men” cologne from Dolce & Gabbana in the late ’90s. From the zebra packaging to the amazing notes of sandalwood and tobacco, it’s no wonder there’s a Facebook page devoted to bringing back this Godly scent.
10.Hair and Tonic
Can’t. Look. Away. From. Her. Eyes. But we could look deep into getting the Jeris Antiseptic Hair Tonic back onto drugstore shelves.
11.Get It Up
Let’s start a petition to bring back this shampoo. Every bottle supposedly contained the juice of one lemon. We like the idea of mixing our foods with our hair.
12.Go Together Like PB&J
Don’t you want your tie to match your shirt perfectly too? If so, join us as we try to bring back this combo for the well-groomed man.
13.Denim Scent
Why yes, we DO want to smell like blue jeans, thank you very much. Bring back this cologne and then we won’t have to smell like purple jeans anymore, heaven forbid.
14.Super Tonic
Back in the 1950s, the Vitalis commercials were as much a hit as the hair tonic itself. Let’s reincarnate the product that promises more manageable hair, as the Duck Dynasty cast members are in serious need of it.
If you put together all of these vintage grooming products for men that we want to bring back today, you would need another aisle at the local Walgreens. Let’s take a moment to mourn the loss of a denim scent, zebra cologne, beer shampoo, and a heck of a lot of other awesome manly products.
For more inspiration, take a look at those awesome manly products over here.
